Swallow the Elephant
by sinemoras09
Summary: In which our hero works through the five stages of grief, but not really. CRACK. Sasuke, Ghost!Itachi, badfic extraordinaire. Spoilers up to 402. Vague spoilers for 477.


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Swallow the Elephant

_(In which our Hero works through the five stages of Grief, but not really.)_

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**01. Denial**

"Hello, little brother."

Sasuke jumped, nearly knocking into the tree behind him.

Itachi smiled, his eyes placid half-moons on his face. "I see you are doing well."

"You're dead." Sasuke stared as the Itachi-sized phantom floated next to him, seemingly nonplussed about the whole ordeal. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I infused a part of my chakra when I transferred my powers to you," Itachi said. His voice was smooth, unhurried, like the still waters of a calm lake. "I worried about you, Sasuke. I was afraid of the things you might do."

"Get out of my head!" Sasuke banged a fist against his temple, squeezing his eyes. "This isn't real," Sasuke said. "This is a genjutsu. This isn't _real_."

"This is very real, little brother, I assure you."

Sasuke stared at Itachi's phantom reflection, which seemed to waver slightly in the moonlight. "You wish to take vengeance on Konoha," Itachi said. "I wish I could say I am surprised, however it is partially my doing that you've become this way. Madara notwithstanding."

"I'm doing it for _you_," Sasuke said. "To avenge your death! To bring back the glory of the Uchiha clan!"

"You are doing it to satisfy your own bloodlust, little brother, and it is a foolish endeavor," Itachi said. He frowned slightly. "Again, I cannot pretend I did not have a hand in this. It was my quest to make you kill me that has warped your personality. It is one of my greatest regrets. One of many, that is."

"Shut _up_!" Sasuke said. He clenched his fists, glaring. "You are _not_ my brother! You're some sort of trick! An illusion, a hallucination--"

"Whoa, Sasuke, what the hell?" Suigetsu said, because apparently Sasuke had been standing there shouting at thin air. Sasuke turned and glared, a multitude of crows scattering as if startled from the trees.

"The hell are you looking at?" Sasuke said.

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**02. Anger**

Sasuke stalked through the woods, gritting his teeth while Itachi floated behind him. If what Itachi said was true, if part of his chakra was swirling around his own, then Karin would be able to sense it. Sasuke pushed through Karin's side of the camp, glaring. Karin was sleeping. Sasuke shook her awake. "Oi! Karin!"

Karin blinked, hair sticking in all directions and rubbing her eyes. "Sasuke? What's wrong?"

"I need you to read my chakra," Sasuke said. Itachi frowned, disapprovingly. Karin squinted her eyes.

"What about it?" Karin asked.

"Do you notice anything different?" Sasuke asked. Karin squinted, concentrating.

"No," Karin said.

"Well, what if...what if I had someone else's chakra mixed in with my own? Would you be able to tell?"

"I could tell the different colors, yeah, but your chakra is all the same," Karin said, and Itachi floated over her shoulder, quietly.

"You're not trying hard enough," Sasuke said. Karin grunted and flopped over, throwing a pillow over her head.

"Then use your sharingan and look in the mirror, I'm tired," Karin said.

"She has a point," Itachi said.

"I'm not listening to you," Sasuke said, before he realized Karin thought Sasuke was talking to her. Sasuke glared.

"Fine, I'll use a mirror," Sasuke said. "I'll just go ahead and waste my sharingan on something stupid. Great."

"It wouldn't be the first time," Itachi said, floating behind him.

In the mirror, Sasuke's chakra swirled black, with Itachi's soft blue. They swirled in a kaleidoscope of color, centering just above Sasuke's left eye. "Why couldn't Karin see this?" Sasuke asked.

"Because I used a genjutsu to alter her sensing abilities," Itachi said.

"How the hell can you use a genjutsu if you're _dead_?"

"Because you have my eyes," Itachi said. "I cannot believe you have already forgotten."

Sasuke pressed his palm against his face, defeated. Itachi smiled.

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**03. Bargaining**

Sasuke sat on a log, crossing his arms and glaring at the apparition floating in front of him. "Fine," Sasuke said. "Prove to me you're my brother. Tell me something only he would know."

"That would not prove anything," Itachi said. "If I were a hallucination, something your own mind has conjured up, then who is to say I am not just tapping into one of your old memories?"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Then tell me something about Itachi I don't know."

Itachi sighed. "You would not last in ANBU," Itachi said. "I could just make something up."

"So either way there's no proving you're you," Sasuke said.

"Correct," Itachi said. "You will just have to trust me."

Sasuke's eyes flashed. His brother's logic was infuriating.

"Fine," Sasuke said. "Then why are you here?"

"Because Madara told you what happened to me," Itachi said. "As I already said, I implanted my chakra as a fail-safe in the event you found out the truth. I did it in the hopes I would be able to talk you out of it."

"And if not?" Sasuke said.

"Then I can forcibly possess your body and stop you that way, if need be."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "So you're basically like Orochimaru, except with crows instead of snakes," Sasuke said.

"It is not a very favorable comparison, but I suppose so, yes," Itachi said. "I have multiple fail-safes in place; your friend Naruto also has a modicum of my power, in the event my chakra did not fuse with yours. However I had hoped it would not come to this, that you would never find the truth. I suppose we have Madara to thank for that." Itachi smiled, gently. "At the very least, I can spend more time with you."

Sasuke's head began to hurt. "You're not my brother," Sasuke said. Itachi looked somewhat hurt.

"Fine," Sasuke said. "Don't look at me like that. I don't want my fake brother looking all depressed, I just might shoot myself."

"Then I would stop you before you committed such an act," Itachi said, gravely.

"Great," Sasuke said.

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**04. Depression**

Sasuke went to bed, and when he woke up the next morning, there were no signs of ghostly apparitions or extra chakra floating above his forehead. Sasuke was relieved.

It wasn't a dream - Suigetsu and Karin swore up and down that Sasuke had been acting erratic the night before - but fake-Itachi wasn't here; Sasuke could chalk it up to after-effects of the Mangekyo sharingan: you kill your best friend, and it awakens in you a new ocular power. It would make sense that hallucinating the one you killed (or at the very least, the one you were trying to kill, but ended up dying in front of you), would be part of the Eye.

Now Sasuke tramped forward, the knife-edge of the wind cutting into his skin. His shirt was open and his skin was covered in gooseflesh. "You are cold," Itachi said. Sasuke nearly fell backwards down the hill from the shock.

Itachi frowned. "We share the same body, little brother," Itachi said. "And I do not like the idea of you feeling cold."

Sasuke glared, and was about to ignore the floating fake-Itachi when suddenly his hand out from nowhere pulled his cloak and wrapped it tightly around himself. Sasuke's eyes widened.

"I told you, little brother. I can take hold of this body any time I wished."

"Is that a threat?" Sasuke said. Itachi shrugged, elegantly.

"Only if you wish it to be. But you must know, I only do this for your own good."

And Sasuke's hand, seemingly of its own volition, pulled up the collar to Sasuke's shirt and buttoned it closed.

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**05. Acceptance**

"So..." Jugo began, slowly. "You mean to tell us, you are being haunted by the spirit of your dead brother, and he's inhabiting your body because he infused his chakra with yours?"

"Yes," Sasuke said. The rest of Team Taka stared.

"Then how come we can't see him?" Suigetsu asked.

"Because he's using genjutsu to manipulate your sight, or in your case, your sensing abilities," Sasuke said, nodding to Karin. Suigetsu frowned.

"Sometimes I think I hear voices," Jugo said, helpfully. "But they turned out to be the voices of birds."

"I don't talk to birds!" Sasuke said. A crow flew. "Oi! That's not _funny_!"

Itachi blinked innocently. "That crow was not from me," Itachi said.

"There! Did you hear him?" Sasuke said. Team Taka watched him pointing at thin air. "Dammit! He's right there!"

"I think I might sense something," Karin said, doubtfully. "Maybe."

Sasuke gritted his teeth. He was losing it. Maybe he was going insane. Sasuke ran his hand through his hair, muscles tense.

He had a lot of work to do.

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**A/N: TOTALLY inspired by random!Itachi in 477 XD. Ahaha. Oh Kishi. You made my New Year.**


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